


Undisclosed Desires

by WishingOnWhishaw



Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 08:10:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1170732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishingOnWhishaw/pseuds/WishingOnWhishaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will was getting so good at handling things, slowly getting better at dealing with other people. It's just that sometimes he's required to be sociable and it's a step too far, pushing him off the edge of his self control. Luckily Hannibal is there to catch him when he falls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undisclosed Desires

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for hanni-babe on tumblr who wanted Will having a panic attack with only Hannibal able to calm him down.
> 
> As usual, I can't think of my own titles. This one is the title of a song by Muse which I listened to whilst writing this and found rather appropriate.
> 
> Has not been beta read, so all mistakes are my own.

It had been so long since Will felt like this, almost long enough that he'd forgotten how awful it was, how badly he was affected. Since he'd grown closer to Hannibal, Will had slowly been creeping out of his shell. He still wasn't better, not fully, but he was getting there. He could tolerate people, could attempt speaking to others and make light conversation. Most people were difficult, challenges that Will usually would have just shied away from, until he found someone that made it easy.

From the start he had had little difficulties with Hannibal. He had laughed with him, gave him genuine smiles that reached his eyes and, without even meaning to, Will's defences lowered for the doctor. Hannibal made him better, helped him to manage all the discomfort Will had in social situations but, for some reason, were never there with Hannibal. That was how they'd grown so close, because when Will let Hannibal in it was like opening a floodgate. He was learning to manage things now. Sure, he still couldn't make eye contact with people, still got uncomfortable from time to time, but those instances were becoming much less frequent as of late.

In their sessions Hannibal would usually just sit and listen, able to separate their personal and professional relationships with an almost startling ease. Will would talk of his problems and always Hannibal would help him, slowly making Will able to cope. So much so that Will began to forget some of the things that used to worry him. He still showed some hesitance, but Hannibal was patient and persistent, eager to coax Will out into the open.

That's how Will found himself here, fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket as he stood in Hannibal's kitchen whilst his lover busied himself making dinner. Will wondered why it was he'd agreed to attend one of Hannibal's feasts anyway. Of course, that wasn't what the culinary god himself would have called them, but that's what they were. Feasts. Plenty of food and, much to Will's discomfort, a fair number of people. He should be fine, he told himself. He didn't need to worry.

It wasn't long until there were people ringing the doorbell and Will was left keeping an eye on the cooking food whilst Hannibal went off to play the good host, something that always astounded Will. Hannibal was so good with people, the complete opposite of Will himself.

When everyone had arrived Will was guided into the dining room by Hannibal who left briefly before returning to serve the starter. Will sat beside his partner, keeping his eyes down toward his plate whilst people talked all around him. Even Hannibal was taking part in conversation, but Will wasn't really paying much attention. There were too many people around to focus on anything. He felt a gentle nudge to his side and looked up, eyes meeting Hannibal's for a few seconds before he settled on looking between them.

"Yeah?" He asked, his voice sounding much too shaky.

"Lillian was just asking what you do," Hannibal explained gently, noticing the tremor to his boyfriend's voice. Will looked across the table at the woman Hannibal was talking about. Lillian was staring at Will expectantly and the young man looked away quickly, his head lowered as he tried to remember how to breathe.

_Not now,_ he said to himself. _Don't do this, not now, not here._ But it was no use. There were too many people around, too many voices, too many gazes that could be directed toward him. Will could feel Lillian's eyes burning into him and his chest felt tight as he screwed his eyes shut, suddenly feeling as though everyone around the table was watching him closely. Will opened his mouth, trying to draw in air but it wasn't enough. His chest was too tight, his throat constricting as tears began to pool behind his closed lids. He breathed in again, shaking as he exhaled and it didn't even feel like anything was reaching his lungs. The pace of his breathing quickened, his initial panic only growing now as he began to feel dizzy, lightheaded on top of his worry.

"Will?" He heard from beside him, the voice hazy and sounding far away as blood pounded in his ears. "Will, are you okay?"

Will opened his mouth to answer but he couldn't speak. His hands were balled into fists as he tried to fight the panic sweeping through him, but to no avail.

"Is he alright?" Another voice muttered.

"He doesn't look so good."

Suddenly their words were slamming into him, each of them seeming to stab him and smother him, fuelling the panic like petrol on a fire, a fire that was consuming him. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think of anything beyond the need to get out, to get away from all these people. He was sure that he was going to pass out when he felt a hand firmly gripping his shoulder.

"Come on, let's get you some fresh air," a familiar voice whispered to him, only him. A comforting voice, one that pushed through all of the others that were attacking him. Hannibal. That was Hannibal's voice. He nodded hesitantly, the movement jerky as he forced open his eyes and looked up into the face of his lover, still able to make him out through the tears blurring his vision. He held onto the older man's strong arm, accepting his help as Hannibal got him to his feet and led Will out of the room, apologising to his guests. Will clung to him like his life depended on it, pressed into Hannibal's side, his knuckles white as he gripped the other's shirt, trying to ground himself on something real.

Will lost track of where they were, where they were going, and then he was being pushed downwards by gentle hands. He fell back onto what he assumed was their bed, making a noise of protest until Hannibal sat down beside him, propped up against the headboard. Will scooted up closer, seeking comfort in the solid body, using the only thing he knew of to help him. Hannibal's arms wrapped around him, holding him close as Will leaned his head against the other's shoulder, his chest still heaving as he struggled to breathe.

"Calm," Hannibal's voice murmured, running his fingers soothingly through Will's curls. "You don't need to worry. It's just me, Will. Nobody else is here."

The empath gave a small nod of his head but his breaths were still heavy, his fist still balled up and rumpling Hannibal's undoubtedly expensive shirt.

"Remember when we talked about coping, Will? Remember what I said. Don't let the panic take over. Do you remember?" Will gave a nod in reply, which seemed enough. "Good. Listen to my voice, Will. Listen to me, but concentrate on your breathing, yes? Breathe in slowly. Remember the air taking the panic. Now breathe it back out."

Will listened obediently, following the directions Hannibal gave him and repeating the technique over and over. Eventually Will's muscles relaxed and his breathing had almost returned to normal until he was left shaking, curled up into his boyfriend's side with one arm flung across Hannibal's waist.

"There we go," Hannibal whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Will's head.

"Thank you," Will mumbled tiredly, both mentally and physically exhausted.

"You do not need to thank me," Hannibal laughed softly, the sound soothing to Will's ears. "I am here to help you with this, to calm you when nothing else can."

"Even if it means I ruin your suits?" Will replied with a small grin, earning another laugh.

"I can dry clean a suit, or even buy another if it comes to that. They aren't as fragile as your mind, Will. That is something that I could not afford to lose."


End file.
